To do what is right
one must eliminate what is not
and find the root of the wrongdoing.
Without cause
there is no need for bad deeds
no place for injustice.
But what is wrong
and what is right?
Who defines
what is good
and what is not?
Who prejudices you,
or what you do,
as evil?
Simple
You do!
Morals are complex
but mostly because we make them.
To do what’s right
is to define what you do
as what it is to you.
If it feels right
it probably is
by your standards
in your eyes anyway.
Others might not agree -
they do not have to.
It’s their choice
to look the other way
to choose a different path,
to leave and let you go
protecting
what they feel is right.
Such a plain
self defence mechanism
put in place
to not dissolve -
but shield
the one thing to keep ‘em sane:
integrity.

Keeping in the boiling rage is the hardest part of the state I’m in.
This blinding hate and sadness that took over my mind
it’s like a vile beast waiting for a chance
a chance to breach my shell.
My discipline and quiet are rapidly fading.
Maintaining the illusion of my identity
is so heavy that it hurts every inch of my body and mind.
I am at the brink of sanity and still accelerating
to the other side
whatever might await me there.
I wish I was in another place
another time – and life.
But you who look at me and say you know me
you don’t see the mess that’s raging in my head.
My calm surface might crack here and there
but the eruption of my temper is directed to the inside.
Even if it was the fault of someone else
and I had all reason to share my mood with them
it’s simply not the way I am
and it’s not the way I want to be like.
I’m witholding everything in my core
handling my misery in silence
on my own and alone -
so in the end the only one who will suffer is me.

Here I am in an awkward position
I only hope you will believe and understand me

I promised to you I would not betray you
but I needed to do the insane to refind my sanity

In my eyes it’s not betrayal
our relationship was betrayal to myself.

You would say it’s wrong
and if I listened to reason I had to agree.

But how can I say something is wrong -
If I don’t feel anything for anyone?
What if I can’t tell the difference?

It’s not right – I know as much
I lost my way and for that I hate myself.

I just tried to find the parts that I lost
to be whole again for you and you alone

Now I know the emptiness inside me
has got nothing to do with you.

And I wish I could undo the things that I’ve done
but without them I still wouldn’t know where I stand

My heart is empty
no sign of an end ahead.

If you must hate me for all this
then I lost you without intend.

I’m so sorry that this happened
to disappoint you wasn’t my intention
but if you go – I wish you best of luck

Though at least I can now look for reasons somewhere else -
if you still want me – that is.

Am I insane? ‘Ever thought about that question? ‘Ever thought about what that actually means?
When somebody is insane the person doesn’t fit in any common standard known to society. However there is a possibility everybody else is insane and the person who just doesn’t fit in the system is the only sane person. How would you know? Who defines what is sane and what is not? Isn’t there something between different from the others and insane. Sometimes it doesn’t look that way. But then it’s said that when somebody goes insane the person believes he’s becoming sane.
Doesn’t that mean that if you know you’re going insane or you are insane, you realize the difference between what should be and what is relating to the common known standard? Realizing this a person can’t really be insane – just different.
So tell me – Am I insane? Or am I not? Just think about it. Maybe you’re the one insane when you try to judge my sanity.