I hate you so much
that I’d love to punch you
in your pretty face.
I love you so much
I hate we’re not together.
I know by now
everything is lost -
you are spoken for -
given away to someone unknown.
But at night I still think about you
with salty eyes.
I can’t forget
how much you mean to me
and I feel the grief inside me everyday.
I wish we could meet and forget what was.
I wish I could hurt you
so you can feel my everlasting pain
my endless love and hate for you.

The words go lost in our discussions
the meaning – unseen, hidden behind fears.
Sticking needles in my flesh
every time we argue.
Why we lose our temper,
and tease each other to insanity
is a mystery and simplicity.
Covered up in all my arguments
lies the truth that separates us.
An unknown question -
noone dares to phrase,
for the answer would have consequences.
The nameless bond that exists between us
might just shatter.
Though the answer is “just” love
and has always been – “just” love
love in all its varieties.

This is not me telling you what to do
because who am I to do so?
This is not me chumming up with you
I just open up my heart.
This is me showing my affection,
telling you how much I care.
Don’t ever get confused in all those words
since they actually all mean the same.
Take good care – remember me
and I promise: I will do the same.

Out of place
and out of time.
They talk
but will not listen.
Am I invisible,
or am I just ignored?
I wonder what is worse.
Alone and misunderstood -
but it’s not my fault;
It’s you who turns a blind eye.
It’s me telling you the story of my life,
but you take a rain check.
I’m losing hope here,
purged of faith.
I’m crying -
inwardly.
Listen up!
Feel my heart’s tune.
And even if it is a requiem
it’s melody that wants to be heard.
So if you still want me –
You should tell me
because I might forget;
and feel unwelcome
in your presence,
in your home,
your heart.

I’m back again and all alone
where ever you are – you are gone
I miss you between ravioli and an egg
I miss you lying on my bed
I miss you between the door and the hinge
I miss the times when we clinch
I miss you from daybreak on
to my last thought dozing until gone
I just wish you would be here
even if it is for mere
that I can miss you one more time
when one of us is leaving – both reduced to the smallest prime

Isn’t it funny how everyone believes to be different from everybody else. Of course nobody is like anyone else – are they?
Actually we’re not so different at all.

We walk on two feet, we speak using a mouth, we act using two hands.

Not only do we look equally in shape and proportion, are more or less equally beautiful in our own ways – but our head works by the same principles and protocols.
We want to live – well most of us do – some will say they don’t want to, but still they breathe, still their hearts beat.

We touch and feel with five fingers each hand, we hear with our ears and see with our own two eyes.

We yearn for protection and we ache for some love. And though the tastes may vary, still the desire is the same.
Now you’d say you’re different or more diverse from them but don’t we have in common that we aspire to be unique?

This is a very loose translation of a quite popular song in Germany. The idea was to take something that is torture to the ear and recreate it to make something good from it. This idea came to me when I heard a couple of songs and realized that this particular song seemed like a bad sequence made from bits of good songs and movie scenes. Actually, the original lyric was so bad – and in some parts just untranslateable – so I had to intervene. I put the refrain to the bottom of the text – so you don’t realize which song this is right away. Try to enjoy the words and if you really don’t know what song this is – post a comment. I’d like to call this “sunshine” for the time being. Here we go.

~ sunshine ~

Baby you’re the one whom I always dreamed about
your lips taste like ice on a hot sunday.
Listen to me when I’m telling you that you mean the world to me
and when you’re gone then nothing can keep me here.

It was love on first sight
your respect is so irreplaceable for me
we were walking hand in hand on an endless strand.

Girl you’re the one whom I need and desire
beside you I feel like I’m nothing
and if you think all this is a lie
then you thought wrong because I love you.

*refrain*

*refrain*

I’m missing your breath on my body
your breath that touched me so softly
the breath that seduced my heart.
No matter what might happen
I will get the starry sky for you.
You’re the end of the rainbow
I will bring you all the luck from heaven.
I can’t be without you
we have to reunite.

*refrain*

*refrain*

*refrain*

Just so you know – I love you baby

Where are you my sunshine?

I love you

refrain:
Where are you my sunshine
I’m looking for you – i’m missing you
I only feel respect for you
just so you know: I love you

Here I am in an awkward position
I only hope you will believe and understand me

I promised to you I would not betray you
but I needed to do the insane to refind my sanity

In my eyes it’s not betrayal
our relationship was betrayal to myself.

You would say it’s wrong
and if I listened to reason I had to agree.

But how can I say something is wrong -
If I don’t feel anything for anyone?
What if I can’t tell the difference?

It’s not right – I know as much
I lost my way and for that I hate myself.

I just tried to find the parts that I lost
to be whole again for you and you alone

Now I know the emptiness inside me
has got nothing to do with you.

And I wish I could undo the things that I’ve done
but without them I still wouldn’t know where I stand

My heart is empty
no sign of an end ahead.

If you must hate me for all this
then I lost you without intend.

I’m so sorry that this happened
to disappoint you wasn’t my intention
but if you go – I wish you best of luck

Though at least I can now look for reasons somewhere else -
if you still want me – that is.

Der Titel macht nur Sinn wenn man weiß warum und wann ich das geschrieben habe. Warum und wann ich das geschrieben habe, werde ich nicht sagen. Das Gedicht ist aber auch ohne den Titel verständlich.

I wish this moment could last forever.
But time does not care for me or anyone.
Just like any other moment once before
this one will soon be over too.
How much I’ll miss that moment
I can’t tell -
in my head: no noise, no disturbance.
Now, back to reality
my head’s going to explode.
So many questions – so few answers.
I really want to be with you
though I don’t know how that could be -
We are, after all, from two different worlds
both lethal to each other.
Where I am from – you won’t prevail.
Tell me this: Where are we heading from here on now?

Girl you just don’t know
what you are doing
or what you did to me.
Though maybe you just didn’t care.
Whichever – tell me what is worse.
Did you know
it took me ages to recover
from my last encounter with you?
It took me years or so it seems
to regain my self-esteem.
I can’t forget
and I can’t sleep
but as far as I can tell
I hold no grudge against you.
Far from that -
I’d still welcome you
here in my arms.
Though believe me one single thing
if you ever mess with my heart again.
I won’t rest until you’ve gone mad
I won’t sleep until you’re dead.
I will become what you are to me now
I’ll be your personal poltergeist.

You know what?
I believe you were right after all
I really do deserve something/someone better than you
Though that doesn’t get me anywhere because I love you
and I want only you.
I want to fight for you, but I can’t;
First off – it would hurt my pride
but honestly – fuck my pride.
It’s just that I want you to want me
as I am without persuasion.
It’s that plain and simple.
But what am I supposed to do now
if waiting is killing me and my love for you?