This poem is four verses long. Each verse describes a feeling. Each verse is also a step on a one-way path. The verses can be summarized by what was, what is, rejection and what will be.

Opening my heart is difficult enough
showing what I feel is unadorned tough
For you I do this just once more
despite the abstinence I swore.
Accept my open arms or walk away
and what you choose I will obey.

You ask, why we should work this time
and declare that our interests don’t match.
Why make it sound like the break-up is my crime?
Why does it feel like the question is a catch?
It’s obvious we’re not the same
but it’s love that makes us tame.

Rejection is what you are offering
the words you say are like a poisoned string.
You imply your feelings have gone cold
or is it something that you’re told.
It doesn’t matter anymore
you’re locked up well behind that door.

I do remember when we first kissed
now it’s a corrupting memory I dread
so when I see you I’ll pretend you don’t exist
and when I miss you I’ll pretend that you are dead
because to acknowledge that we’re just apart
will break the stitches that stop the bleeding from my heart.

Nine universes are in parallel
that makes nine lives each
as far as I can tell.

In nine lives the chance that our paths would cross
nine times the opportunity for loss.

In eight lives we actually meet
but only in seven did we ever greet.

In six I was brave enough
to ask you out, but it was tough.

Only five times you agree to it
and five times the chance for us to split.

In four lives we were struggling
to stay as one in suffering.

Three times we did reconcile
and all was good just for a while.

In the second together we were sublime
we stayed together to the end of time.

But in this one, for reasons I don’t know
I made the mistake to let you go.

Walk with me in the silver glow
where the moon will shine and the shades will grow.
Stars like freckles on the night’s sky
lay down in the darkish green, let got – fly
Smell the cold, the icy air
this time is precious, this time is rare.
The grass is gently whispering
where crystals of frost are glistening.
As a courtesy or out of sympathy
time stands still for this symphony.
Still shadows rule the darkest night
they only need the faintest light.
Don’t be afraid of figures in the gray
as long as we’re together we’ll see another day.
Where you, Solanum, face your darkest hour
my roots will provide refuge and power.
Let there be an arctic storm
love will keep us safe and warm.
Walk beside me – for a moment, pretend to be just mine
feel the night’s electric shivers in your spine.
Try to protect this magic in a shell
but dawn will always break the spell.
This trail we walk is just a tiny part
on the path that meanders through the valley of my heart.

I am the lone wolf of the night
crying out for luna’s sympathy.
Forever asking why I have to be
the evil creature that will bite.

I walked among you for a while
doing so I felt quite juvenile.
But human life is temptation and desire
that’s the least what I require.

Emotions hurt like a gaping wound
at least that’s something that I found.
The injury was left untreated
and all my will was soon depleted.

My heart ached merely from seeing you
alone I did not know what I should do.
It’s an indescribable twist of mind
but I had to leave you far behind.

Now back to wolf I cannot speak
but being like that made me weak.
Love is nothing a wolf should undergo
it’s not even something a wolf should know.
Though there is something I’d never have reckoned
I would not want to have missed a single second.

And so I howl at the pale old moon
he’s my solace, bane and boon
You will always be my sun
I’d need wings but I have none.
To be with you is what I yearn
but I can only ever burn.

The following is an interpretation of a song sung by Justin Vernon (with Bon Iver) called Flume. I feel that it is wrong to dissect a song and break it down until all the magic is gone. However what I will give is only an approximation of what the song says and means to me. A song or poem is already an interpretation of something larger, so all I can do is add bits here and there to help you understand what I see in this song. This interpretion is a poem / song itself. I recommend you listen to this amazingly beautiful song on youtube before you continue reading.

Now I have only my mother’s love left
That ought to be enough, is it?
I’m leaving my heart exposed
that’s why you can see (and understand) what I feel
(maybe not on purpose).

Only love can ever leave you completely empty
The weight of my tears keeps me from flying
what I need are perpetual roots
to ancher me, to provide shelter and warmth
in times I feel like I am drifting away.

Melancholy – looking back to old times
a picture of our whole family hanging on the wall,
me still inside my mother’s womb.
I am searching for something to hold on
but there is nothing left
at least not for me.

Only love can ever make you feel this bad
Searching for a place to rest
but afraid from being hurt again.
I’m not ready to be burned
in fear – unable to leave this safe and solitary place.

Only love can desert you like this
The weight of my tears keeps me from beeing free
what I want is something (as) static as the moon
to root me and provide shelter and warmth
in times I feel like loosing it.

My unforgetable, unforgiveable past
a dream that came true but went bad.
I’d give up everything
to get back what I lost that day.
In my head I’m trying to convince myself
you and me
imagining how it could be –
we have a chance -
for all we need is the love we share.
Though silently and every time anew
doubt sneaks in my thoughts.
The knowledge that it’s not enough
that love alone will not suffice
My dreams can tell me otherwise
but woven into my feelings for you
always present the failiors of the past
- lurking in the shadows.
Being with you is the one thing that
after all these years
I still yearn for
the same way I did
on the first day I met you.
The attraction between us is unbearable
but to be with you
is a desire I must never give into.
Although mutual the feelings may be
we have to stay apart
for I can’t be with you or I’ll crack.
The last time losing you made me so sad
it almost drove me mad.
So against all our hearts desire
I have to do the one sane thing
and keep us apart.
I only wish
- sometimes -
to be insane.

I can’t speak a word with you
because I know you see right through.
That is why for some assistance
this poem is brought into existence.

The lines I am trying to compose
could never even get quite close.
And with every word that’s being add
what is written sounds like someone’s mad.

It’s the hardest topic to address
My devotion to you is so hard to express.
The pile of verses in my head -
anything that could be said,
I could write a whole essay
which would only push you further away.
(weiterlesen …)

We are soldiers in opposing forces
fighting a long lost war
whose causes are almost forgotten.
There will be no victory for either side
as long as we’re hiding in our self-dug shelters.
Without communication to our base
reduced to shouting at each other -
gun fire –
bullets missing only by an inch or so.
Shoot at me, I’ll shoot at you.
No backup, No cover,
just suppressing fire.
This front line won’t see a truce -
keen on pleasing ones ideals.
Peaceful future is a serpent’s gift
in the mind of the warrior.
We all want home –
some quiet time.
But who will turn his back on the other
if lethal are the rounds we fire.
Stuck in this wilderness –
our battlefield -
a leap of faith one has to make.
Live the war,
get shot to shreds -
or stand and risk taking that bullet to the heart.

I hate you so much
that I’d love to punch you
in your pretty face.
I love you so much
I hate we’re not together.
I know by now
everything is lost -
you are spoken for -
given away to someone unknown.
But at night I still think about you
with salty eyes.
I can’t forget
how much you mean to me
and I feel the grief inside me everyday.
I wish we could meet and forget what was.
I wish I could hurt you
so you can feel my everlasting pain
my endless love and hate for you.

The words go lost in our discussions
the meaning – unseen, hidden behind fears.
Sticking needles in my flesh
every time we argue.
Why we lose our temper,
and tease each other to insanity
is a mystery and simplicity.
Covered up in all my arguments
lies the truth that separates us.
An unknown question -
noone dares to phrase,
for the answer would have consequences.
The nameless bond that exists between us
might just shatter.
Though the answer is “just” love
and has always been – “just” love
love in all its varieties.

This is not me telling you what to do
because who am I to do so?
This is not me chumming up with you
I just open up my heart.
This is me showing my affection,
telling you how much I care.
Don’t ever get confused in all those words
since they actually all mean the same.
Take good care – remember me
and I promise: I will do the same.