We are soldiers in opposing forces
fighting a long lost war
whose causes are almost forgotten.
There will be no victory for either side
as long as we’re hiding in our self-dug shelters.
Without communication to our base
reduced to shouting at each other -
gun fire –
bullets missing only by an inch or so.
Shoot at me, I’ll shoot at you.
No backup, No cover,
just suppressing fire.
This front line won’t see a truce -
keen on pleasing ones ideals.
Peaceful future is a serpent’s gift
in the mind of the warrior.
We all want home –
some quiet time.
But who will turn his back on the other
if lethal are the rounds we fire.
Stuck in this wilderness –
our battlefield -
a leap of faith one has to make.
Live the war,
get shot to shreds -
or stand and risk taking that bullet to the heart.

Out of place
and out of time.
They talk
but will not listen.
Am I invisible,
or am I just ignored?
I wonder what is worse.
Alone and misunderstood -
but it’s not my fault;
It’s you who turns a blind eye.
It’s me telling you the story of my life,
but you take a rain check.
I’m losing hope here,
purged of faith.
I’m crying -
inwardly.
Listen up!
Feel my heart’s tune.
And even if it is a requiem
it’s melody that wants to be heard.
So if you still want me –
You should tell me
because I might forget;
and feel unwelcome
in your presence,
in your home,
your heart.

Für Sonja – Ich hoffe es geht dir gut!

Whenever you reasoned
whether what you do is right or wrong -
You just missed the crux.
Whenever you were weak
and you lost your self-esteem -
The reason was you all along.
I have never seen
a life so filled of misery -
Your life i wouldn’t want to live.
Whatever you did
the sadness came along with you -
Your lack of passion made you weak.
The misery you thought you had
was only in your head -
Never ever there was life in what you did.
But the energy you never had
was in you all along -
You just never dared do use your power.
The few moments that you shone
the entity I loved in you -
Your soul leaked through your wall.
Your life force let you down
but know, now and forever -
You are strong, just afraid of yourself.
Let you soul and spirit guide you
feel the energy that surges in you -
When your actions are one with you heart’s desire.

This one is dedicated to the true love that got lost over time.

They say time can heal any wound
but let me tell you what i found:
What they say couldn’t be more wrong
my feelings for you are still strong.

Sometimes I catch myself in thought of you.

Though my mind tells me not to -
I think of all the good times that we had
and the one time it went bad.

I straighten up and cut the woe
and where only winks ago
joy was filling up my brains
a hollow space remains.

Emptiness is mocking me
showing me what could not be.
I ask myself why we broke apart
even when it ripped my heart.
This question accompanies me every day
but an answer remains far away.

If only I had known in time
that what we had was sublime.
But I was to blind to see
what you truly meant to me.

The last glimpse I caught of you
is a memory that makes me blue.
Did you know i watched you go
through the crackling shiny snow?
For me that moment time stood still
and let me tell you: I watched until
your bouncing head was gone for long
already knowing it was so wrong.

If I could alter history
I know what I would change for me.
Mend the cracks in our foundation
which led to our isolation.
I wish I could undo the fuss
that then separated us.

All that’s left of you in me
makes it difficult to see
that it had to happen just this way
to redeem the debts I have to pay.
Though the memory of you
still feels like it’s brand new.

I still see you every day
when somebody crosses my way
but you’re not there for my salvation
it’s just my mind’s imagination.

So I close my eyes for peace
to let my soul find some release.
Instead you’ve waited there for me -
with closed eyes it’s you I see.
Your face is burned into my head
it’s impossible to forget.

[And so I cry myself to sleep
knowing you are what I need.]

Never before
I loved somebody
the way I love you.
Unconditional true
and strong
is how I feel about you.
Still we parted
some time ago.
And now what we have
is not enough to depend on.
It’s a sad story
of its own,
told by the desire of my heart
So kiss me love
for the last time
and say goodbye.

i once knew a guy
who had what he wanted
but instead of realizing
he claimed for more
when he finally noticed
what he had done
there was nothing left of it
it was all gone.

[chorus]
the real blood isn’t red
the real pain isn’t dead
silent tears of crystal blood
a teared up heart ripped apart
still beating on
till the scent is gone (weiterlesen…)

Mend my soul and heal my heart
comfort me with your presence
Calm my insecurity with patience
watch my progress in recovery
see me trusting love again.
Then -
gently take away each single motion
take away my senses.
Watch tears slide down my cheeks
bring back the numbness to my head.
Tease me with my jealousy
feed the rage inside of me
awake the beast enclosed.
Club to death the hopes of mine
rip my heart to peaces and
tear my feelings apart.

darling stop confusing me
with your wishful thinking
hopeful enbraces
don’t you understand?
i have to go through this
i belong to here where
no-one cares and no-one loves
no light no air to live in
a place called hate
the city of fear
i play dead
it stops the hurting
i play dead
and the hurting stops

it’s sometimes just like sleeping
curling up inside my private tortures
i nestle into pain
hug suffering
caress every ache

i play dead
it stops the hurting
[...]

(Bjork – Play Dead)

Pity to those
who are strong at heart
but weak at mind
because they will get hurt
every time they love.

Pity to those
who are weak at heart
but strong at mind
because they will never find
the love they seek.

Pity to those
who are strong at heart
and strong at mind
because they will love the objection
of love itself.

Envy to those
who are weak at heart
and weak at mind
because their brave souls
will neither suffer
nor dissent.

[...]
Without a soul
my spirit sleeping somewhere cold
until you find it there and lead
it back home

Wake me up inside
Wake me up inside
Call my name and save me from the dark
Bid my blood to run
Before I come undone
Save me from the nothing I’ve become

Now that I know what I’m without
you can’t just leave me
breathe into me and make me real
bring me to life
[...]

(Evanescence – Bring me to life)

Can’t you see
my heart is bleeding
before you
But don’t ask why
because that would make me cry
I know you feeling of emptyness
when your heart seems hollow
All you need is someone
Something to hold on
to stop the meaningless
to give sense.
I’m not sure
whether I’m the right person
to fill that spot
where there is missing something in your soul
I can’t tell whether I’m what you’re looking for
There are moment I want you by my side
but there are times
when there can’t be enough distance
between the two of us
Don’t get me wrong
I like you more than I should
but that’s the reason why
I care for you
The reason I don’t want
you to get hurt.
I don’t want to harm you.
You’d better back off
before that happens
I can’t guarantee for your safty
once you get close to me
And If I’d hurt you
I would hate myself
and I would feel the same pain you do
Pain it is when you retch my soul
with names and guys I don’t know
Why do you do this to me?
Am I such a bad person?
Or is it you who wants to make me jealous
Stop that – don’t do that
It hurts and it makes my heart leak
so it bleeds -
But you don’t even notice.