My unforgetable, unforgiveable past
a dream that came true but went bad.
I’d give up everything
to get back what I lost that day.
In my head I’m trying to convince myself
you and me
imagining how it could be –
we have a chance -
for all we need is the love we share.
Though silently and every time anew
doubt sneaks in my thoughts.
The knowledge that it’s not enough
that love alone will not suffice
My dreams can tell me otherwise
but woven into my feelings for you
always present the failiors of the past
- lurking in the shadows.
Being with you is the one thing that
after all these years
I still yearn for
the same way I did
on the first day I met you.
The attraction between us is unbearable
but to be with you
is a desire I must never give into.
Although mutual the feelings may be
we have to stay apart
for I can’t be with you or I’ll crack.
The last time losing you made me so sad
it almost drove me mad.
So against all our hearts desire
I have to do the one sane thing
and keep us apart.
I only wish
- sometimes -
to be insane.

Breathing desire -
craving lips -
filled with lust -
pulse of eagerness.
The joy -
of letting you down
over and over again.
Making you agonize
over all that is -
might have been -
all that’s yet to come
but most of all:
All that will never be.

Isn’t it funny how everyone believes to be different from everybody else. Of course nobody is like anyone else – are they?
Actually we’re not so different at all.

We walk on two feet, we speak using a mouth, we act using two hands.

Not only do we look equally in shape and proportion, are more or less equally beautiful in our own ways – but our head works by the same principles and protocols.
We want to live – well most of us do – some will say they don’t want to, but still they breathe, still their hearts beat.

We touch and feel with five fingers each hand, we hear with our ears and see with our own two eyes.

We yearn for protection and we ache for some love. And though the tastes may vary, still the desire is the same.
Now you’d say you’re different or more diverse from them but don’t we have in common that we aspire to be unique?

You know what?
I believe you were right after all
I really do deserve something/someone better than you
Though that doesn’t get me anywhere because I love you
and I want only you.
I want to fight for you, but I can’t;
First off – it would hurt my pride
but honestly – fuck my pride.
It’s just that I want you to want me
as I am without persuasion.
It’s that plain and simple.
But what am I supposed to do now
if waiting is killing me and my love for you?

I believe that I love you,
and I just don’t know what to do.

Even though love should be great,
loving you makes my heart ache.

Sooner or later someone had to discover,
that we’re just not meant for each other.

The way that you’re attracting me,
isn’t just that hard to see.

But the closer we will get,
the more I’m going to regret.

But I can’t deny my desire,
holding back just gets me higher.

So about my realizations,
I believe I have no patience.

The state of my mind is so weak,
it’s only havoc I wreak.

The love that i feel must be true,
but it’s mocking my integrity too.