After all these years
I have not forgotten -
and how could I
when I hear this song
it drags me back in time to you
a time in my memory that’s rotten.
I’d like to share what I feel with you
I want to share how little it hurts me anymore
If you could understand that this flame
has long lost its heat at the core
I know you want to know what’s up
and I like to tell you -
but I can’t do that.
I want to make you see it for yourself
but I know it’s impossible without a real chat.
You think what I do is because I feel for you
but the truth is that it’s nothing special
and if they’d ask I’d do it for any who.
I hope this doesn’t tear your soul asunder
instead I hope in your heart you feel this thunder
telling you what I can’t seem to tell you right:
If you still want me
you have to fight.

As many of us do at some point of their lives I recently thought about why we die. I will not argue that human death is caused by the deterioration of the cells in our bodies. However you might want to ask yourself why cells behave this way. There is just no logic behind this. If the human body can grow to its full size then it should be capable of reproducing healthy cells when the height of growth is reached. The facts that we get old and die are proof that there must be a reason. Although not scientific, this is my poetic way of saying we have to die sooner or later:

Born as giants
stuffed with soul and heart.
Every day alive
tears it apart.
If you put your heart and love
into some things that you do
you lose tiny bits of soul
even if the rewards seem few.
Although souls regrow over time
never reach their former magnitude
which leads one to conclude:
Souls are fading over time
but all the tiny bits we give
are moments we like to relive.
They bring happiness to -
and all around us.
Though we can’t live
without our souls and thus,
leave the world
as empty shells -
just a bunch of body cells.
Given every bit away
but – believe me –
it’s okay!

(The title can be seen as a tribute to Supertramp)

No, this ist not some romantic shizzle whizzle. In fact this might not at all be to your liking. What I want is to talk about death. Why? Because death is everywhere even if it doesn’t really exist. Now one might say how can death not exist if there is life. That is exactly the right question. (weiterlesen…)

Isn’t it funny how everyone believes to be different from everybody else. Of course nobody is like anyone else – are they?
Actually we’re not so different at all.

We walk on two feet, we speak using a mouth, we act using two hands.

Not only do we look equally in shape and proportion, are more or less equally beautiful in our own ways – but our head works by the same principles and protocols.
We want to live – well most of us do – some will say they don’t want to, but still they breathe, still their hearts beat.

We touch and feel with five fingers each hand, we hear with our ears and see with our own two eyes.

We yearn for protection and we ache for some love. And though the tastes may vary, still the desire is the same.
Now you’d say you’re different or more diverse from them but don’t we have in common that we aspire to be unique?

Feeling sad from time to time is common – I guess.
But then there are those times – and I don’t even know why – I feel unbearable sad.
Tears just could not show the kind of sadness that I feel.
Like a salty river stuck in my throat and a curtain of teardrops waiting in my eyelids.
A silent suffering hidden from the world – hidden behind cold eyes.
If only I knew the reason then maybe I could understand.
But thinking about why I feel so blue – is feeding into my sadness.
Show me a way out of here. Wake me! Shake me!
Rescue me from this dream I can’t wake up from!

This world is like a living being
moving, flowing, breathing.
But the world is sick
the organism is infected.
Infected by a disease
spreading along the arteries of life
highly contagious and toxic
deadly to whatever it infects
it kills randomly and efficient.
The world has never seen before
a virus so threatening to life.
But there is hope for it
because neither life nor death
can exist without the other.
So this planet will survive
and arise from its ashes.
Giving birth to a new era
bringing life to a new generation
until the generation turns
against itself again.
We are trapped in this cycle
the endless cycle of life and death.
So our sins shall come back for us at last
and take back what we once took.
As guests of this planet we harvested
the life of this planet itself.
We are a disease to this planet
as such we will wither and rot.
Not only will we – the disease
induce our own genocide
but lead this world to total annihilation
Luckily we won’t have to face this disease
Because the disease is in all of us
a disease called humanity.

The clock tells me that yesterday is gone. Guess we won’t see that day in a while. Thinking about it – if what science says is true and the universe is a place that comes from energy and will be energy again – then maybe in a reborn future world which is just like this one we will see this day again. Maybe we have to be born, live and die a few times in between but in a nearly endless universe this should be possible.

(weiterlesen…)

I want to sleep but I can’t.
It’s not that I lack tiredness but the fact that there should be more than this.
Why sleep when there is nothing worth dreaming about?
There is never nothing going on but nothing ever happens.
At least nothing what would could justify a standstill of several hours.
Light. Give me light. Be my star.
In this boring gray mist I need your light for distraction.
Show me around in your life and entertain me before i become numb.
Again then – sooner or later – back in solitude.
I’m sitting here – waiting – waiting for the world to change.

Am I insane? ‘Ever thought about that question? ‘Ever thought about what that actually means?
When somebody is insane the person doesn’t fit in any common standard known to society. However there is a possibility everybody else is insane and the person who just doesn’t fit in the system is the only sane person. How would you know? Who defines what is sane and what is not? Isn’t there something between different from the others and insane. Sometimes it doesn’t look that way. But then it’s said that when somebody goes insane the person believes he’s becoming sane.
Doesn’t that mean that if you know you’re going insane or you are insane, you realize the difference between what should be and what is relating to the common known standard? Realizing this a person can’t really be insane – just different.
So tell me – Am I insane? Or am I not? Just think about it. Maybe you’re the one insane when you try to judge my sanity.

The clouded sky covers the sun.
Fading light of a dying day
leaves everything in a bloody red gloom.
The ebony of darkness soon will fall on everything.
When the least shadows fade into the continuous black -
of all that seemed so important -
nothing can be seen.
Night casts its magic spell upon us
and delivers us from our fears and hopes
It takes apart our dreams and visions
leaving us blind – vulnerable to evil.
Still peaceful is the silence of dark
far above the stars will shine
as if they want to say “you’re not alone”.
And every one of them wants to be brightest it seems.
Just by the look of them they can tell
that we are just a little part of something enormous.

While time flows on
slowly the shadows rise again
and with them all that is so much more a danger to us
than what dwells in the hiding of the night -
all that is so unimportant compared to the whole epus.
While the sun shines so bright and the sky’s so blue
We tend to forget who we are and what we do
When the stars can’t be seen we are the one who want to shine
In this useless attempt to become what we crave for
never should we forget
what we can’t see most of the time
but is still there far beyond
to keep our feet on the ground
and root us to the tiny peace of earth we live on.

The last that ever she saw him
Carried away by a moonlight shadow
He passed on worried and warning
Carried away by a moonlight shadow.
Lost in a river last saturday night
Far away on the other side.
He was caught in the middle of a desperate fight
And she couldn’t find how to push through

The trees that whisper in the evening
Carried away by a moonlight shadow
Sing a song of sorrow and grieving
Carried away by a moonlight shadow
All she saw was a silhouette of a gun
Far away on the other side.
He was shot six times by a man on the run
And she couldn’t find how to push through
[...]

(Mike Oldfield – Moonlight Shadow)