You can see it from the corner of the eye
the world is fractal – it lies in pieces.
Wrong overlaps the right
it’s broken and there is no one there to fix it.
Shattered bits in an endless continuum
an existence on the border of decay
entropy will claim what’s left.
Losing it in this twisted place
who can blame you -
when the structure of space itself
is smashed and minced to particles.
The universe is upside down
you’re only falling –
falling through space and time
barely touching anything.
Your existence has no effect
on the chaos all around.
Should we not cluster
and bring order to this mayhem?
As mass we will gain velocity
but also we’ll become inert.

After all these years
I have not forgotten -
and how could I
when I hear this song
it drags me back in time to you
a time in my memory that’s rotten.
I’d like to share what I feel with you
I want to share how little it hurts me anymore
If you could understand that this flame
has long lost its heat at the core
I know you want to know what’s up
and I like to tell you -
but I can’t do that.
I want to make you see it for yourself
but I know it’s impossible without a real chat.
You think what I do is because I feel for you
but the truth is that it’s nothing special
and if they’d ask I’d do it for any who.
I hope this doesn’t tear your soul asunder
instead I hope in your heart you feel this thunder
telling you what I can’t seem to tell you right:
If you still want me
you have to fight.

As many of us do at some point of their lives I recently thought about why we die. I will not argue that human death is caused by the deterioration of the cells in our bodies. However you might want to ask yourself why cells behave this way. There is just no logic behind this. If the human body can grow to its full size then it should be capable of reproducing healthy cells when the height of growth is reached. The facts that we get old and die are proof that there must be a reason. Although not scientific, this is my poetic way of saying we have to die sooner or later:

Born as giants
stuffed with soul and heart.
Every day alive
tears it apart.
If you put your heart and love
into some things that you do
you lose tiny bits of soul
even if the rewards seem few.
Although souls regrow over time
never reach their former magnitude
which leads one to conclude:
Souls are fading over time
but all the tiny bits we give
are moments we like to relive.
They bring happiness to -
and all around us.
Though we can’t live
without our souls and thus,
leave the world
as empty shells -
just a bunch of body cells.
Given every bit away
but – believe me –
it’s okay!

(The title can be seen as a tribute to Supertramp)

Breathing desire -
craving lips -
filled with lust -
pulse of eagerness.
The joy -
of letting you down
over and over again.
Making you agonize
over all that is -
might have been -
all that’s yet to come
but most of all:
All that will never be.

We are soldiers in opposing forces
fighting a long lost war
whose causes are almost forgotten.
There will be no victory for either side
as long as we’re hiding in our self-dug shelters.
Without communication to our base
reduced to shouting at each other -
gun fire –
bullets missing only by an inch or so.
Shoot at me, I’ll shoot at you.
No backup, No cover,
just suppressing fire.
This front line won’t see a truce -
keen on pleasing ones ideals.
Peaceful future is a serpent’s gift
in the mind of the warrior.
We all want home –
some quiet time.
But who will turn his back on the other
if lethal are the rounds we fire.
Stuck in this wilderness –
our battlefield -
a leap of faith one has to make.
Live the war,
get shot to shreds -
or stand and risk taking that bullet to the heart.

I hate you so much
that I’d love to punch you
in your pretty face.
I love you so much
I hate we’re not together.
I know by now
everything is lost -
you are spoken for -
given away to someone unknown.
But at night I still think about you
with salty eyes.
I can’t forget
how much you mean to me
and I feel the grief inside me everyday.
I wish we could meet and forget what was.
I wish I could hurt you
so you can feel my everlasting pain
my endless love and hate for you.

The words go lost in our discussions
the meaning – unseen, hidden behind fears.
Sticking needles in my flesh
every time we argue.
Why we lose our temper,
and tease each other to insanity
is a mystery and simplicity.
Covered up in all my arguments
lies the truth that separates us.
An unknown question -
noone dares to phrase,
for the answer would have consequences.
The nameless bond that exists between us
might just shatter.
Though the answer is “just” love
and has always been – “just” love
love in all its varieties.

This is not me telling you what to do
because who am I to do so?
This is not me chumming up with you
I just open up my heart.
This is me showing my affection,
telling you how much I care.
Don’t ever get confused in all those words
since they actually all mean the same.
Take good care – remember me
and I promise: I will do the same.

Out of place
and out of time.
They talk
but will not listen.
Am I invisible,
or am I just ignored?
I wonder what is worse.
Alone and misunderstood -
but it’s not my fault;
It’s you who turns a blind eye.
It’s me telling you the story of my life,
but you take a rain check.
I’m losing hope here,
purged of faith.
I’m crying -
inwardly.
Listen up!
Feel my heart’s tune.
And even if it is a requiem
it’s melody that wants to be heard.
So if you still want me –
You should tell me
because I might forget;
and feel unwelcome
in your presence,
in your home,
your heart.

Und ob ich schon wanderte in finsteren Globals,
so fürchte ich keine Access Violation,
denn Parameter sind bei mir.
Deine Referenz und dein Call-By-Value spenden mir Thread-Safety.
Du bereitest mir ein Invoke im Angesicht meiner Kapselung.
Du forkest mein Main mit Threads und schenkest mir echtes Multitasking.

Yes there are some pretty good howtos out there that explain how to temporarily change the MAC address of your ethernet device on a Mac. I’ll just repeat what I learned since a friend of mine seems not to find the sites i did.
I did this on Mac OSX Leopard and Snow Leopard. I don’t know how whether it’s the same on Tiger or older versions – just get a newer Mac pal, you want it anyway!

So here’s how it works for a copper interface (wifi: see below):

1. Open a terminal. Personally, I prefer iTerm – but any terminal is fine.
2. Become super user. Since I don’t want to type sudo for every freakin’ command I do this by entering:
   sudo su
   Enter your user password. Enjoy the power you gained for a second and remember: You can really really damage your system configuration as root user, so watch out!
3. Check your network settings with:
   ifconfig
   Find your network adapter. On my Mac en0 is the copper wire nic and en1 is wifi.
   You recognize your copper interface by checking whether it can do 100baseT or even 1000baseT (it’s written next to it). Yeah, that’s a lame description but it works since there is no wifi that does 1000baseT (yet).
4. Change the MAC address by entering something like
   ifconfig en0 ether af:fe:af:fe:af:fe
5. Verify changes with
   ifconfig | grep en0

So you want to change the MAC address of your wifi device. That’s a little bit more tricky. Here comes:

1. Follow steps 1-3 of the above guide to gain godlike powers and identifiy your wifi interface
2. Make sure your wifi device is running (Check wifi symbol in top right corner in Finder). It has to be running, you can’t change the mac of a device that is down.
3. Disassociate the device from all networks. There is a tool to do so called airport. No worries, you already have that tool – you just didn’t know. It’s actually located here /System/Library/PrivateFrameworks/Apple80211.framework/Versions/A/Resources/airport. So that’s very unhandy – let’s change that.
   ln -s /System/Library/PrivateFrameworks/Apple80211.framework/Versions/A/Resources/airport /usr/bin/airport

Now you can just type the airport command from wherever you want. Nice huh? Well anyway. Disassociate all wifi networks now. Type
airport -z
or
airport --disassociate

4. Change the MAC address by entering something like
   ifconfig en1 ether af:fe:af:fe:af:fe
5. Verify with a look at the output of
   ifconfig

So you’re all set. Get crackin’ … I never said you should – but it would be wise to change your MAC before doing so, since the MAC is a unique identifier to your device.

Use the comment function if something doesn’t work as you wished or if you just find me awesome and want to tell me exactly that.

One more thing: I used af:fe:af:fe:af:fe as MAC address. This is very unwise since it looks nothing like a MAC address. Most MAC addresses start with 00:01 or something like that. Just be creative but not fancy. Fancy gets you feds – and you don’t want ‘em.